It’s hard to say what Vince was more excited about when the Kosmosky family came to visit earlier this week — their super cool meat slicer or their impossibly cute toddler.
Either could have entertained us for hours when both made their way into our home under the cheerful arms of our friends Kari and Jeff.
It all started several weeks ago when I came home from work with what I thought was uneventful news.
“Jeff Kosmosky bought a meat slicer,” I idly mentioned to Vince.
His eyes lit up.
“Awww, I have to borrow that,” he said.
I cleared my throat, a defense mechanism I’ve perfected over 30 years.
“Why?” I asked reasonably. “I mean, what would you slice?”
A week later, Vince came home with his arms full of delicacies he’d bought from Tenuta’s Deli in Kenosha, including a giant hunk of smoked Swiss cheese and a large – I slowly read the label here – Capocollo.
“What are you going to do with all this?” I asked, holding the sausage-looking thing aloft.
“I’m going to slice it,” he said. “Can you ask when the Kosmosky’s can come over? And can you make sure they bring Dominic?”
I’ve been taunting Vince with pictures of the photogenic Dominic for months. Smiley, curly-haired, solid and just over a year old, Dominic is Vince’s favorite type of playmate. Much like our neighbor George, Dominic laughs easily and loves a good high five.
Late Monday afternoon, it all came together for Vince.
He “supervised” while Jeff sliced up the puzzling Capocollo.
“Try this!” Vince said and he popped a slice in my mouth.
“Good, right?” he asked.
I nodded and chewed.
“You think Dominic would want some?” he asked.
Alarmed, I shook my head dramatically and chewed.
I watched Vince play with Dominic.
“We could probably make sandwiches out of this,” Vince said.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“I think we were supposed to remove the casing,” Jeff said.
As God is my witness I may never eat sausage again.
Meanwhile, with Vince cheering him on, Jeff sliced up the whole eventually casing-less Capocollo. Then he sliced the smoked Swiss cheese. Then, just for funsies, he sliced up a ham.
I’m not sure we ever need to see another meat slicer in this house.
But, I’d borrow Dominic anytime.