Resolutions I should make but probably won’t

I know I should have jumped out of bed and gotten right to 2018, but New Year’s Day dawned cozily around our house and so I sipped my tea, slipped on my comfy slippers and savored it.

And now, more than a week later, I have yet to make a single resolution.

In the interest of the season, I will share with you a series of self-improvements upon which I should embark, but I probably won’t.

1. I should journal. I have always wanted to be the kind of person who ends each day by writing a profound entry in an elegant book. Most often, though, I end my day by head-bobbing through a movie or into a book until my head sags….slowly…. into…the….pillow….. My niece Rachel gave me a wonderful writer’s journal for Christmas this year and I thought that would be the impetus I’d need. Unfortunately, she also gave me a super soft electric blanket that is just…sooooo…..comfy….
2. I should listen to podcasts. I admire the extreme multi-tasking abilities and hearty ear canals of my podcast-listening brethren, but two things stand in the way of my conversion: I can’t stand to have things stuck in my ears, and I’m easily distracted. I set off yesterday on a long walk with ear buds and a perfectly interesting episode of Radio Lab. Ten minutes into my walk, my phone buzzed and yada yada yada my sister Jenny and I spent the next one hour, seven minutes and 53 seconds solving the world’s problems. I missed the entire episode, but I happily chatted my way through a lovely walk.
3. I should stop snacking. I mean, this is never going to happen and I don’t even know why I bothered to list it. Last Wednesday I learned it was National Dark Chocolate Covered Cherries Day and I bundled myself up and hiked through -2 degree weather to snag myself a couple dark chocolate beauties from Wilmar Chocolate. I haven’t been a student since 1986, but I still feel a nice sweet and salty after school snack is in order long about 4 p.m. #HelpMe
4. I should write letters. I have lots of nice things I want to say to people and I feel they mean more when they arrives via the U.S. Postal Service. But, I genuinely hate my penmanship and I’m not very good at actually mailing the letters I do manage to write, so this one is probably a lost cause as well.
5. I should de-clutter my house. I make this resolution every year and yet I still own an eight track tape player, a wooden console television set and a giant, red bubble coat with a musky fishing patch on the left shoulder. As long as I associate the things stored in my basement with the people I love who once owned them,  I will never be able to throw them away. But, seriously, does anyone you know need a wooden trundle bed with a fishing vessel motive? #Askingforafriend

I love the optimism each new year brings us and I’m actually excited to see what we all accomplish in 2018. It’s just the specific goals that elude me right now. I’d like to be more productive but I just flipped my blanket control to high and I have a whole second season of the Crown to get to so…