Yeah, it’s a potty in the U.S.A.

I have seen the future of the American toilet, my friends, and let me tell you it is spectacular.

Heated seats, remote controls, touchless flushing, night lighted lids…oh my!

I only stopped in the Kohler Design Center Monday afternoon because my niece wanted me to join her and she’s very cute.

Until I walked through those showroom doors, my previous interest in bathroom plumbing only involved toilet paper and whether enough of it remained on the roll. I recently ordered a kitchen faucet because ours broke, and I also once watched the fascinating (and expensive) process of a plumber yanking a Fisher-Price little person out of our tub drain.

That, and potty training four children, pretty much sums up my command of the commode community.

Until now.

I saw things beyond my imagination (and, I’m sure,  beyond, the capabilities of our circa 1931 pipes).

An infinity bathtub fed by a ceiling spout looked like tropical vacation one could enjoy every single ordinary day.

A shower with nine nozzles offered massages for every body part.

We saw a Garden of Eden inspired bathroom with floor to ceiling topiary, and kitchens beyond our imagination.

The lower level museum offered both a stark contrast and an inspiring look at how far we’ve come. The wringer washer alone is enough to make me appreciate the washing machine I have. Asking for nothing more than a Tide pod and a splash of fabric softener, it has been churning out loads of sheets and towels nonstop since yesterday. 

So, as we close out 2016, here’s to American innovation and the luxury that awaits our collective backsides.

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This wall of toilets extends three stories high. Note for scale, the two human sculptures are life sized.
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We started off our tour with an obligatory mirror shot.
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My sister Jenny found the nine-nozzle shower quite fascinating, until my son Charlie threatened to turn it on. Then, she high-tailed it out of there.
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Check out this amazing tub with a ceiling faucet. What???
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We all wanted to live in this powder room, with its floor to ceiling vines.
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Just look how far we’ve come in a relatively short time! My grandma had a wringer washer she still used for bulkier items. At this very moment, my own washer and drier are hard at work a whole floor of the house away from me, while I sip tea and putz around with my lap top. God bless innovation!

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