Are we hashtagging the joy out of Christmas?

I woke up on the Grinchy side of the bed this morning, with a bah humbugged bag full of burnt-out Christmas lights and an alarming tendency to mix my metaphors.

The Christmas hashtags are getting me down.

In a frantic effort to log as much family time as possible before my beloved troops scattered, I missed #BlackFriday entirely.

We rose early on #SmallBusinessSaturday with a well-intended game plan to #ShopLocal, but lingering holiday visits ate up the day. With closing time looming, we scrambled heroically, and, in a 30-minute sprint through town, we locally purchased one music book for cellos, a green scarf and a ½ pound of gourmet chocolate, which we ate almost immediately. #MerryChristmasToYou.

#CyberMonday brought more angst as I stared wild-eyed at my screen, scrolling frantically through helpful posts on how to #maximize my #PromoCodes and access #FreeShipping. I checked my extensive #ChristmasList. Twice. I #ComparisonShopped and thoroughly browsed recommended sites. I used my #KohlsCash and #PromoCode to buy…one puffer coat…for myself.

#OhChristmasMe

We tried the #DIY thing one year for Christmas, but it turns out we’re not #ThosePeople. My sister gave me a #HandPainted mug she had shattered in the microwave after misreading the directions, and I gave her a #ShapePoem.

Yesterday, #GivingTuesday should have put me in a mellower mood. What could be stressful about a #global day dedicated to #GivingBack? Having barely mastered the two-headed #selfie without an extreme close-up of each ugly nostril, though, I wasn’t sure I was ready for #unselfie. So many charities, so little time, so much pressure! I’m all for the first part of the earnest description I found (startlingly posted next to clock ticking down the days’ remaining minutes.) “Find a way for your family, your community, your company or your organization to come together to give something more.” Seems appropriate, right? I’m in! But, the second part gave me pause. “Then tell everyone you can about how you are giving.”

#eGoTellitOntheMountain

I’m not dissing the days, man. I’m especially not whining about #CharitableGiving, and I know #GivingTuesday has raised plenty of money for plenty of excellent causes.

What I am saying, though, is it’s a lot of pressure to keep up, and quotes like the one I read Tuesday from National Retail Association chief executive Michael Shay don’t help.

“Every day is going to be Black Friday, every minute is going to be Cyber Monday. You can’t let up for a minute because of the competitive nature that is out there,” he said.

#Peace