Holidays, humor

There’s a New Turkey in Town (a post by Molly)

by Another Slice

For the longest time, Thanksgiving has ruled like a proud peacock at the top of any chef’s holiday menu. The big bird has gone unchallenged for centuries, by avoiding the nostalgia of Christmas or the spirituality of Easter, but purely sustaining itself as one gigantic meal. Well that’s all about to change, because there’s a new turkey in town, and it’s my birthday. My birthday has all the things people love about Thanksgiving, football games, copious amounts of food, all in a much more successful time-slot than Thanksgiving. Think about it, Thanksgiving always gets cut off by the ever encroaching Christmas season, and everyone is still recovering from the sugar comas caused by Halloween, so they can’t fully enjoy the plethora of food that Thanksgiving always brings. My birthday comes at the perfect sweet spot between the 4th of July and Halloween, just before the weather starts to turn so you could get a good layer of “warmth” before the cold comes. Really it’s a wonder that my birthday isn’t already a national holiday yet (I’ll be writing a letter to the big guy to get this all straightened out).

This year I decided to push my birthday to Thanksgiving proportions (just to make sure the world could handle such an awesome holiday). I invited over a test group of average American teenagers (or as average as I could find) to sample this revolutionary holiday. I kept a few traditions, of course there was pie, but that’s where I left the puritan housewives behind. Quesadillas? Sure! Falafel? Why not? Pierogies? Of course! Potato Skins? Well there is a football game going on. Pizza? It wouldn’t be a party without pizza! …needless to say, when I allowed myself 2 1/2 days of non-stop cooking, I went a little over board (but that’s all part of the plan), the smells of pie filling simmering on the stove, and pieroghies sauteing in a skillet drifted through the house days before the party. Despite my intimidatingly long procession to and from the kitchen carrying a new dish each time, my test group dove in unphased and left me with way fewer leftovers than I planned for and several very thoughtful presents. After this success, I plan on making this “My Birthday” thing a yearly celebration, mark your calendars.

Croatian pizza started early Thursday morning so the homemade dough could rise.
I started the Croatian pizza early Thursday morning so the homemade dough could rise.
Pieroghies: made Wednesday afternoon from my great grandma's parish cookbook.
Pierogies: made Wednesday afternoon from my great grandma’s parish cookbook.
Just as in Thanksgiving, my birthday require detailed planning, mapping out of oven space, and constant racing against the clock.
Just as in Thanksgiving, my birthday required detailed planning, mapping out of oven space, and constant racing against the clock.
Falafels: Dough made Tuesday night, a little excessive? maybe, but you haven't celebrated my birthday yet.
Falafels: Dough made Tuesday night, a little excessive? maybe, but you haven’t celebrated my birthday yet.
Like any self respecting holiday, my birthday had to have beautiful and seasonal decorations, and a logical flow arrangement of food.
Like any self respecting holiday, my birthday had to have beautiful and seasonal decorations, and a logical flow arrangement of food.
You can't tell, but my test participates are laughing at my over zealous explanation of the food (they didn't understand that history was being made).
You can’t tell, but my test participates are laughing at my over zealous explanation of the food (they didn’t understand that history was being made).
I have very photogenic test participates, definetely surpassing those pilgrims.
I have very photogenic test participates, definetely surpassing those pilgrims.
If you want to celebrate my birthday the right way, you have to set aside a part of your wall for your guests to sign in, so you'll never forget what a wonderful time you had (its totally worth it).
If you want to celebrate my birthday the right way, you have to set aside a part of your wall for your guests to sign in, so you’ll never forget what a wonderful time you had (its totally worth it).
Of course there had to be pie, and I had to make it on Tuesday afternoon, obviously.
Of course there had to be pie, and I had to make it on Tuesday afternoon, obviously.
I'm pretty sure that arm is about to reach over a candle (risking lighting herself on fire) to get a mini pie, I call that a success.
I’m pretty sure that arm is about to reach over a candle (risking lighting herself on fire) to get a mini pie, I call that a success.
They all came running for the mini pies, take that Thanksgiving and your normal sized pies.
They all came running for the mini pies, take that Thanksgiving and your normal sized pies.
Kaelah really enjoyed her pie, I promise... despite the look on her face.
Kaelah really enjoyed her pie, I promise… despite the look on her face.
Of course I had to expect to the height of fashion from my guests, we can't let those pilgrims and their bonnets show us up
Of course I had to expect to the height of fashion from my guests, we can’t let those pilgrims and their bonnets show us up
The basement wall sign-in tradition goes way back.
The basement wall sign-in tradition goes way back.

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