With freedom comes responsibility

Tuesday night I sat on a playground bench listening to the Appleton City Band play.

While my aim was to make sure my young charge behaved himself, my attention drifted toward another group of children playing near me.

A tiny girl with a pixie haircut and pink shoes cheerfully doled out orders. She dispersed the snacks, she comforted a toddler who tripped and she set the rules for the games.

Impressed and a little fascinated at the power dynamics on display, I smiled at the large group of about a dozen kids. Their moms sat at a picnic table several yards away.

I vaguely noticed two others kids, who were not with that group, climb up the apparatus and join the group at play.

Then, I thought I heard a tiny voice say a word. I shrugged it off, convinced I had misheard.

“You shouldn’t say that word,” one of the newcomers said.

I looked back at the commotion.

“I can say it if I want to,” the little pixie said. Then she unleashed the n-word five or six straight times.

“You shouldn’t say that,” the little newcomer repeated. His admirable measure both impressed me and it broke my heart. I wondered how often he’d heard that word before.

The pixie stood firm, smiled and said it again.

I looked around to see if any other parent was hearing what I did. I had a brief chat with myself about what my own role was here.

Then, I stood up and walked over.

“You should not say that word,” I said to the little girl.

“See? I told you. You shouldn’t say it,” the little newcomer said.

“I can say it if I want to. My mom doesn’t care if I say it,” the pixie looked right at me and said.

Then she said it again, four or five times.

“You should not say that word,” I said firmly.

Generally, I try to stay in my own parenting lane. I only intervened in this case because I wanted to offer some support to the two children who did not deserve to be targets of that word, and maybe a little lesson in the power of words to the rest of the group.

I still can’t believe that sweet-faced little pixie said that word.

Patriotic music swirled around us and it occurred to me that we live in a free country, we were listening to a free concert, playing in a free city park and exercising our right to free speech.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, with freedom comes responsibility.

I hope we remember that and that we teach our children to choose their words carefully.