The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed because there are no innocents, just a half-century milestone we’re thrilled to be marking and a legendary party about which some people would prefer we don’t speak.
To celebrate properly, and excise old demons, speak we must.
Our story begins on a cold December evening in 1984, when Ron and Peggy Kostelnik traveled out of town and left their middle daughter, the good one, home alone.
Word spread the way it did back in the 80s — a whisper here, a high five there, a rotary phone dialed among friends. Eventually, most, though not all, of the Xavier Class of 1986, many from the Class of 1985 and some from the Class of 1987 gathered in gleeful celebration of a parentless home.
Some brought beer. Most drank it.
The doorbell rang.
Kathy’s friend Brenda answered the door.
A couple of Appleton Police Officers politely introduced themselves.
Brenda closed the door. She reconsidered that response, and cracked the door back open.
The APD reintroduced themselves and got to work, eventually citing most of the attendees for underage drinking.
Those kinds of adolescent mistakes happen from time to time, but I think the real story here is how mad our parents got when they found out, as they did via a phone call from Kathy that night, that their daughter, the good one, had broken the law.
In fact, as soon as he got back to Appleton, our dad stormed down to the police station, not to reprimand the officers for their treatment his princess, but to suggest they increase both the number and severity of the citations. They declined.
I recently spoke to now retired Appleton Police Officer Rick Nilson, who said he was a young officer, relatively new to the force, when he got a call on a Sunday evening that an angry man was in the lobby of the police station.
“I walked out into the lobby and I didn’t know who your dad was at the time but he looked huge to me and he was just livid,” Officer Nilson said. “Most parents come down to the station because they want to get their kids out of whatever ticket we’ve issued. But, your dad was just the opposite.”
Back at home, Kathy’s punishment was swift and impressively creative.:
- She was grounded for the rest of her high school career (later amended to three weeks).
- She was made to get a job at a Darboy Fried Chicken branch, then walking distance from our house, where she single-handedly shredded cabbage for 200 pounds of coleslaw a day.
- She was banned from a much coveted class trip to Spain. (They lifted the ban after an eloquent plea from the heroic Señora Wisnefski.)
- My dad dropped Kathy off at school that Monday morning and announced that it would be the last ride to school she ever got from him.
- Neither she nor her younger sister Jenny were ever left home alone overnight again.
Our mom was also Kathy’s English teacher and the Junior Class Moderator, which made for an awkward Monday in Mrs. Kostelnik’s English class.
Ay yi yi.
What a disaster!
So, we, her siblings, in-laws and nieces and nephews, are recreating it. Naturally.
On August 18th, in honor of Kathy’s 50th birthday, we’re hosting a big party. In attendance will be those original party goers — including Brenda — brave enough to face our mother, who will also be there and will still be mad.
“I just don’t understand why we would be celebrating that party, Laura!”
A few of the arresting officers, some of whom, like Officer Nilson, have since retired, will be joining the fun, along with the indomitable Señora Wisnefski and anyone else who wants to swing by and wish the amazing Kathy Kostelnik Finley a Happy 50th birthday.
Kathy rebounded nicely from her early disgrace, and became a celebrated teacher, library media specialist, wife and stepmother. She’s risen above every challenge, including the six-year battle with cancer she continues to fight today, with grace and poise.
But, honestly, I speak for my brother Mike and sister Jenny, when I say, we still can’t believe our parents’ middle daughter, Kathy, the good one, hosted that party!
We’re not leaving anyone out of this shindig. Swing by our house, the scene of the original crime, on August 18th to wish Kathy a Happy Birthday!
We’d love to see you there.