With gratitude and love for an honorable man

Sometimes our exits from this old world say as much about us as the time we spent here.

That certainly is true of our friend Roy, a man of deep faith and transcendent kindness.

Roy loved his family, his land, a warm slice of raspberry pie, a challenging jigsaw puzzle and an honest day’s work.

He died yesterday, having passed on to his family and friends one last lesson of grace.

They came to see him in his final days — his five children, their spouses, children and grandchildren; his neighbors, coworkers and friends — and Roy received them warmly.

The hospice resident sets the tone for these transitions, and Roy led his curtain call with love. So much love filled that home that it worked hard to hold the sadness at bay.

It isn’t easy to leave a life and a family you’ve cherished, but, having beaten back every challenge in his life, Roy rose to this one too. He smiled through tears, hugged, chatted, joked, prayed and delighted in his spunky great-grandchildren running from room to room.

Roy would want me to note that he won the last cribbage game he played, and that was just two days before he died.

He and his beloved Mary Ellen celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary last Thursday and they were blessed to spend most of the day together. Then, because we humans don’t get the final say on the script of our lives, Mary Ellen had to go to the hospital. She’s still there and we’re sending prayers her way.

Roy and my husband Vince enjoyed a special relationship, especially these past few years. They’ve played a lot of cards, talked a little smack and shared plenty of stories. Vince mostly listened because Roy led an interesting life and knew the value of a well-told tale.

I treasure the times I sat in the back seat as we drove around Oconto County listening to Roy reminisce. I’d love to hop back there for another spin.

It’s never easy to say good-bye, but, for people like Roy, the gratitude for having known them acts as an immediate salve.

Roy’s daughter Nicolle posted this poem she found. Written by Nancy Kraayenhof in 1958, it still resonates today.

Close the Gate

For this one farmer the worries are over, lie down and rest your head, Your time has been and struggles enough, put the tractor in the shed.

Years were not easy, many downright hard, but your faith in God transcended, Put away your tools and sleep in peace. The fences have all been mended.

You raised a fine family, worked the land well and always followed the Son, Hang up your shovel inside of the barn; your work here on earth is done.

A faith few possess led your journey through life, often a jagged and stony way, The sun is setting, the cattle are all bedded, and here now is the end of your day.

Your love of God’s soil has passed on to your kin; the stories flow like fine wine, Wash off your work boots in the puddle left by blessed rain one final time.

You always believed that the good Lord would provide and He always had somehow, Take off your gloves and put them down, no more sweat and worry for you now.

Your labor is done, your home now is heaven; no more must you wait, Your legacy lives on, your love of the land, and we will close the gate.

Godspeed, Roy and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.