They’re braver than they believe

No human is braver than a child in foster care.

They sleep in beds that feel, sound and smell different than their own; follow rules they don’t understand; bathe in unfamiliar bathrooms; live in homes that sound creaky at night; leave friends and toys and favorite pillows and climbing trees and rocking chairs and pets behind.

Two little boys arrived at our house one evening, marched right in and said hello. They flew like bats around their new bedroom and I wondered if they’d ever settle down, but they did. Eventually they slept with a peace that astounded me.

“Weren’t you scared when you first got here?” I asked years later.

“I knew I loved you immediately,” the littlest one said.

But, imagine being four-years old and going to live with people you’d never seen before!

The poignancy of that whole situation hurts as much as the courage of those little boys astounds. And there are thousands more like them.

Another young man joined us after witnessing unfathomable violence and heartbreaking loss. Still, he bounces with genuine glee when he walks and grins so widely you can’t help smiling back. The scars are there, though, and the pain is too. He just wakes up each morning and chooses joy.

An 11-year old jumped in my car recently and accepted an apology from a fellow passenger.

“It’s ok,” he said cheerfully. “My whole life is in a shambles anyway.”

To understand the chaos, the uncertainty and the fear and to rise above it is remarkable at any age, but particularly 11.

Can you imagine?

We foster parents live with heroes. They challenge us every day. They can frustrate, worry, insult and test us in all kinds of creative ways. But, mostly, they are good people caught up in situations they can’t control.

And they are braver than they believe.