How to enjoy the Lambeau Snow Globe

I’m writing this post with happily chapped fingers amid home radiators still gasping a familiar wet, hoppy wool smell.

So, it is by virtue of experience, not necessarily good taste, (and also because my neighbor asked me to) that I offer the following tips for enjoying Lambeau Field when it becomes a frozen tundra (or, a really pretty, reasonably warm and wet snow globe, which doesn’t sound quite as intimidating, so let’s stick with the Tundra. Rawr!):

1. Pay attention to your feet. Slip them into something comfortable, waterproof, and warm. Wriggle your toes before you leave your house. There should be plenty of room left between your toes and the inside of your boot to stick on a nice Hothands foot warmer. And, speaking of Hothands…
2. Don’t forget them. I did and I regretted it. Those little miracles in a disposable cellophane packet act like a teeny, tiny, smokeless fireplace in the tip of your mitten. Stick the small ones to your socks, the big ones to the inside of your T-shirts and keep a few extras in your pockets for…
3. Visiting fans. My tip here is to relax and enjoy meeting new people. We sit behind the visitor’s bench and our section attracts a lot of opposing fans. Almost all of them have been pleasant, knowledgeable about football, and appreciative of Lambeau’s history. Lambeau is an exceptional place to watch football. But, there are a few hard and fast rules. Like the one about the purses…
4. Ladies, ladies, ladies. You can’t bring a purse into Lambeau. It doesn’t matter how cute it is, I promise. This has been the policy for some time now. If your purse is any larger than your hand, you won’t be allowed to bring it in. This is non-negotiable, though a surprising number of you still try. Put your stuff in a clear bag (even a gallon ziploc bag will do) and leave your purse at home. I and everyone else who has withstood a “but-my-clutch-is-cute” bottleneck at the entrance, thank you. And, speaking of lines…
5. Choose your entrance carefully. The Ridge Road and Oneida Street entrances jam up quickly. You can choose to enter on the north or south sides of the stadium if the lines are shorter, and then just make your way to your seats once you get inside.
6. Bring a stadium seat or rent one when you get inside the stadium. This is essential in winter months to preserve your spot on those cold metal benches. Once people gear up, there’s not a lot of extra room on the trenches and it’s every fan for him or herself. It is also nice to have some back support should you ever actually sit down.
7. And, speaking of that, don’t be the fan that yells, “Down in front!” You paid a lot of money to attend a game at Lambeau when you can watch it free in your living room. These are two very different experiences. You can sit in your barcalounger at home, or you can watch with more than 70,000 people at Lambeau. You have command of your view from the former, but the latter requires cooperation. People leap to their feet in excitement. Sometimes they stay standing. You may have to stand with them to see. You may even have to crane your neck a little. And, that guy on the camera cart really doesn’t care that he’s blocking your view, and he can’t hear all the foul things you’re yelling at him anyway. Save your lungs for these three beautiful words, “Go Pack Go!” That’s really all you need to yell at a Packer game.
8. Bring a pair of shoes or boots for the ride home. This seems indulgent but it’s actually very helpful. Yesterday, before we even pulled out of our parking spot, I had my whole wet outer layer replaced by nice dry clothes for the ride home. It made the traffic much more bearable and, speaking of traffic…
9. There are plenty of ways in and out of Green Bay. Be a little creative and save yourself time and frustration. Side streets head in the same direction as the main streets do. I say all of this without divulging our own secret route out of town but, trust me, everyone has one. I just heard a new Appleton to Green Bay route yesterday. I may try it next week…

I’m going to stop before I get too high-and-mighty and start lecturing people on their Twitter decorum. (But, really, leave Olivia Munn alone. It’s embarrassing.)

If you’re a veteran fan and have some Lambeau tips to share, we’re all ears. If you’re about to make your maiden trip to Lambeau, welcome aboard and Cheers! (Just not after the third quarter. They don’t sell alcohol at Lambeau during the fourth quarter.)

Go Pack Go!