Can we talk? I feel like we haven’t been in sync lately and I think the healthiest way to address this problem is with openness and honesty. We’ve been together what, three years? Ok, I know I was traveling a lot the first year and a half but, hey, I just signed my second year lease so that’s something right? What I’m saying is, things are serious and I really haven’t appreciated some of your actions lately.
I tried to spend some time with you on my lunch hour yesterday. It was a beautiful day and I was enjoying our walk until a tourist sneezed in my face and a small man mistook my hip bone for a cigarette tray.
Really though I think our biggest issue of late is the car. Remember when you towed her and made me go to that muddy Humboldt Park lot in the rain? I’ll never get that adorable white tights and skirt outfit back, and the extra ticket on top of the tow fee two weeks later was just cruel. This week, the meter maid stood right in front of me. In front of me Chicago! I said, “Please, I beg you. I’m here. Don’t do this.” But no, she had already printed another $60 stab in my heart. When paying for that ticket, the dutiful citizen that I am, I saw that you put a speeding warning on my record without even informing me. What, am I just suppose to read your mind now? Is that really where we’re at?!
And, you know, a lot of girls would complain about the pot holes but I don’t! I know it was a rough winter. You’re just doing the best you can so I take my time because that’s how much I love you!
Look, Chicago, when I think of you, I don’t think of the tickets, unreasonable weather or sightseers with disgustingly good aim. I think of pizza, runs on the lakefront and outdoor concerts. I want to make this work but you gotta meet me halfway. Throw a girl a bone this summer, will ya?
Note: after she wrote this letter, Katherine stumbled onto a live jazz quartet while she grocery shopped at the new Mariano’s Grocery Store, which just opened four blocks from her house and she enjoyed great tunes and ate savory ribs at Ribfest. Good moves Chicago. Good moves.
4 thoughts on “Hey Chicago! (A guest post by Katherine)”
Hello. Nobody likes getting a ticket for anything but unfortunately Chicago has to pay for the lousy deal on the public parking meters. It’s no wonder Chicago is financially broke!
Those traffic cameras are another crafty way to build up the coffers.