License to renew my faith in humanity

Monday afternoon I received a phone call that affirmed my faith in humanity.

As it came from an unrecognizable out-of-state number, and I’ve been fending off a five-year onslaught of unsolicited insurance robocallers, I considered not answering. But, the Sarasota prefix caught my attention and I worried it might have been regarding my mother, who occasionally resides near there, so I picked up.

“May I speak with Laura Biskupic?”

“You are,” I responded cautiously.

“This is the lost and found department at Sarasota Brandenton Airport and we have your driver’s license.”

I whooped.

“Would it be okay with you if we mailed it to the address listed?”

“Yes, of course. That would be wonderful. I really appreciate it.”

For more than two weeks, I’d been expecting this call from someone, somewhere. Others, though, were not quite so optimistic.

Just Saturday, my husband rolled his eyes when the desk clerk at a Minneapolis hotel asked to see a photo I.D. and I handed over my Sam’s Club Card.

“When are you going to replace your driver’s license?” he asked me when we were out of the surly receptionist’s ear shot.

“I don’t have to,” I said. “Someone is going to find it and mail it back to me.”

“You really shouldn’t be driving without a license.”

“I can explain that it’s in the mail.”

“Uh huh.”

As is my nature, I gloated a bit Tuesday night.

“Guess who called me today?” I asked, and I gave him an Elaine Benes wack on the chest.

“Who?”

“The Sarasota airport! They’re mailing me my driver’s license! Ha!”

I shared the news with my mother and the conversation went something like this:

“Hey! Your airport found my driver’s license and they’re mailing it back to me!”

“Wow. Well, you’re very lucky. There’s important information on that license and you don’t want that floating around.”

“Yeah. I know. My weight is on that thing.”

“Well, I wasn’t talking about that. I never would have thought of that.”

“Really? That’s all I’ve been thinking about. That and the humiliation of having to get another photo…’Ma’am. Look at the camera. No. Straight ahead. Don’t slouch. Straight into the camera. Ma’am, they really prefer you don’t smile in these. Ma’am, you can’t laugh either. Just look straight ahead.’”

“I meant there’s important personal information on your license.”

“Right. Like my weight.”

Anyway, all is well now. Someday, I’ll tell you the story of how I made it through airport security using only a Sam’s Club card and my charm, but that was actually a little harrowing and I’ve already prattled away too much of your time.

I think the lesson here is that people are generally good at heart and that’s a mighty fine thought on a cold February day.And I thought this card was just good for free samples and giant hunks of salmon. Turns out it makes a somewhat suitable photo I.D.

7 thoughts on “License to renew my faith in humanity

  1. So that Sam card is an official authorized government identity card from the government of Siam? Is that how you sold that?

    1. Ha! Something like that. My schtick is to look them in the eyes and pretend I think it’s a legit I.D. It’s all in the delivery 😁

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